So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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