Someone shit on the floor
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
