Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
