dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
