Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize