Buhtt sex?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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