yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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