Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
