there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
