Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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