so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
