we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
