I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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