I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
