Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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