Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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