he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
