dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
