I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
