The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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