I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
