Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
