id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
