Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
