Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
