i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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