Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
