Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
