Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i already hear my dad disowning me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
