Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
