3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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