can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
