She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
