i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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