He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
