I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
