I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize