"it" just moved
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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