ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
