I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I forget how to act sober
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
