You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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