i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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