summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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