oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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