What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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