That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it hurts more in the daytime
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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