i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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