I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
