Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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