I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
