Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They took my balls.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
