Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
They have beer where we have blood.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
