I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
