Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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