HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
