One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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