why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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