She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
