3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
