pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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