i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
