Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
